So what have I been doing the last few weeks?
That is a very good question. Part of the reason I haven't been blogging lately is that I don't really know the answer to that myself. So I gave myself permission to stop trying to communicate about it for a while. Yesterday two people asked me something to the effect of, "So, what about your blog? What's going on these days?"
I'll try to summarize and highlight my time in Arizona in January.
First some context: the gathering I was heading to Arizona for was actually two related gatherings. The first one was January 4-8 and for women only. The second one was from January 9-20 and for both men and women.
Now for the summary. When I got to Tucson, everything felt cramped and crowded and fast. I got some yummy stuff from a health food store and went back to my room and chowed down. The next day my drive would take me close enough to the event I'd driven halfway across the country to attend that I could show up there if I wanted to. But I still wanted to shop for food, fill water bottles, and then get there early enough in the day to arrive refreshed instead of tired, so it would be just one more day before I arrived. Or so I thought.
The closer I got to the Quartzsite area, the less sure I felt that I actually wanted to attend either event. Everything was shifting from a fantasy to something a whole lot more real. I had serious concerns about my mobility in the rocky desert over the distances between things that I was seeing on the map -- even in the area designated for people with mobility issues. Several days before the event started I saw reports that there were already twice as many people there as I'd imagined would be there in total at the busiest time. I started to have more questions about how I would take care of myself in that environment.
The morning that I planned to go to the event, as I got my groceries and water, filled up with gas, and headed to the site of the gathering, I got grouchier and more resistant. As I drove down the road to the turnoff for the camp, I realized I could just keep going and do whatever I wanted. I immediately felt lighter and happier. The event would go on for 3 more days -- I still had time to go if I changed my mind. I drove on through the desert enjoying the scenery and appreciating that I'd gotten back to the place I'd been dreaming of for months. I rested. I collected my thoughts. I stayed indoors while it rained all around me and on the people at the gathering.
On the last day of the gathering the sun was out and I was ready to give it one more try. I'd heard people had started to leave already, so I felt optimistic about being able to find a place to camp close in. I got my van all packed up and headed for the gathering site. I drove down the road and... I drove right on by. On purpose. Then I decided to drive down the road to the location of last year's gathering, which would also be the entrance to the co-ed event scheduled to start the next day. It's a washboard paved road for a couple of miles, then a dirt road for a couple of more miles. After taking that drive I was finally certain -- I did not want to go to either of the events. So, what was I going to do?
(Apparently I didn't take any photos during this time period, so here's another photo of snow in New Mexico.)
I'll try to summarize and highlight my time in Arizona in January.
First some context: the gathering I was heading to Arizona for was actually two related gatherings. The first one was January 4-8 and for women only. The second one was from January 9-20 and for both men and women.
Now for the summary. When I got to Tucson, everything felt cramped and crowded and fast. I got some yummy stuff from a health food store and went back to my room and chowed down. The next day my drive would take me close enough to the event I'd driven halfway across the country to attend that I could show up there if I wanted to. But I still wanted to shop for food, fill water bottles, and then get there early enough in the day to arrive refreshed instead of tired, so it would be just one more day before I arrived. Or so I thought.
The closer I got to the Quartzsite area, the less sure I felt that I actually wanted to attend either event. Everything was shifting from a fantasy to something a whole lot more real. I had serious concerns about my mobility in the rocky desert over the distances between things that I was seeing on the map -- even in the area designated for people with mobility issues. Several days before the event started I saw reports that there were already twice as many people there as I'd imagined would be there in total at the busiest time. I started to have more questions about how I would take care of myself in that environment.
The morning that I planned to go to the event, as I got my groceries and water, filled up with gas, and headed to the site of the gathering, I got grouchier and more resistant. As I drove down the road to the turnoff for the camp, I realized I could just keep going and do whatever I wanted. I immediately felt lighter and happier. The event would go on for 3 more days -- I still had time to go if I changed my mind. I drove on through the desert enjoying the scenery and appreciating that I'd gotten back to the place I'd been dreaming of for months. I rested. I collected my thoughts. I stayed indoors while it rained all around me and on the people at the gathering.
On the last day of the gathering the sun was out and I was ready to give it one more try. I'd heard people had started to leave already, so I felt optimistic about being able to find a place to camp close in. I got my van all packed up and headed for the gathering site. I drove down the road and... I drove right on by. On purpose. Then I decided to drive down the road to the location of last year's gathering, which would also be the entrance to the co-ed event scheduled to start the next day. It's a washboard paved road for a couple of miles, then a dirt road for a couple of more miles. After taking that drive I was finally certain -- I did not want to go to either of the events. So, what was I going to do?
(Apparently I didn't take any photos during this time period, so here's another photo of snow in New Mexico.)
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